e-motivator
Yes, that’s right, the much anticipated e-motivator here. Blood, sweat and tears went into this bad boy just for the hope that it can turn a few lives around. I havn’t forwarded it to the Salvation Army yet but if you hear of anyone who needs a bit of a jumpstart, the e-motivator is for them (actually don’t, I don’t want to be held responsible for e-motivator enduced self harm).
Energise your inner sanctum, climb the executive ladder of success, feel good about yourself… e-motivate yourself.
I Love the e-motivator. It helps me everyday. I can push to get that job, I am the man! I am a tiger RARRRRH!
Thanks Stelmach Machines for making my life better.
David McGeorge - Web Designer Leeds
Comment by davymacca — Wednesday June 20th, 2007 @ 09:18
Thanks for the e-motivator, when I was contemplating suicide because I missed my bus last night after having to reset a voucher code at work, the e-motivator cheered me right up, and made me remember why I became and executive; so i can wear snappy suits, be exceptionally arrogant, and hit people who are lower than me, which is everyone, becuase I am so arrogant.
Comment by Ross — Wednesday June 20th, 2007 @ 12:46
After being told that I am looking great today, I feel good about myself, and yet worried that tomorrow, I will not look as good. I also feel more feminine.
Comment by Dan Atkinson — Wednesday June 20th, 2007 @ 12:50
All you need to do, is look at yourself in the mirror, and shoot “the guns” at yourself, and everything will be fine, then hit a poor person
Comment by Ross — Wednesday June 20th, 2007 @ 12:55
e-motivator does not advocate punching poor people, though shooting “the guns” and repeating “you d man” etc, is recommended.
Comment by Rich — Wednesday June 20th, 2007 @ 16:01
YES!! YES!!! I AM the man. WHO’S THE DADDY?!! WHO’S YOUR DADDY??!!
Wow. That shit really works!
Comment by Biggest Brother — Wednesday June 20th, 2007 @ 19:15
damn right it works, you think it was just a piss around, I did some heavy research into this + you wouldn’t imagine the technology at the heart of this thing.
Comment by Rich — Wednesday June 20th, 2007 @ 21:43
Hi Richard,
Some time ago, I had huge problems with self-confidence, self-esteem, feeling unattractive, overweight and close to financial ruin after the last trip to the dogs. I tried all-sorts. At first, it was all misdirected - drugs, alcohol, nailing chavs, and generally being a very angry person. I mellowed a bit and tried therapy but the guy was a tw*t - I fucked him over too. He even charged me for assault the bastard. Anyway, I tried crystals but I mean - they don’t fucking DO anything do they?! Aromatherapy - smells shit, hypnotherapy - I fall asleep.
After all this even my own grandma spat in my face and the 2 year-old next door called me a c*nt. I hit rock-bottom - I wasted all my cash at the dogs on some shit hound called ‘Lucky Joe’. I was walking aimlessly through town back to where I was squatting and noticed some flashing lights coming from a computer monitor inside an internet cafe. It was the lights from your e-motivator, Richard.
The guy at the monitor looked like he was having a seizure so I went in and helped him out - gave him a twig to bite on and shit like that. Once he’d calmed-down I had a look at what had set him off and this was moment that saved my life - the first motivational picture was “It’s not cool to be dead”. That really struck a chord with me and, like I said, it saved my life. After the next few pearls of wisdom and motivational comments I was hooked. After the first hour I felt like a new man already. What made it different from everything I’d tried is that it is CONCISE and DIRECT. It’s keeps shit simple and the pictures help convey the meaning.
My confidence was sky-high after that first hour. I went straight out and fucked this old woman over who I’d been meaning to mug for ages. Talkative Dave down the local told me that she was minted but carried firearms. Turns out he was wrong - about the gun that is.
After a few more sessions on the e-motivator I realised I had misinterpreted its wisdom and used my new-found cash towards sorting myself out. Now I’m as chilled as anything and over the last year I’ve worked my way up to Chief Exec at an insurance company. The e-motivator has affected all areas of my life in a hugely beneficial way. I’m a right cunt to my employees but the e-motivator empowers you to achieve your goals and in this cut-throat environment, if you’re going to cut it with ‘the big boys’ and ‘be d man’, as the e-motivator tells you, you’ve got to look after number 1 first and foremost - ME.
I have a beautiful Wife, Tracey and two wonderful kids - Barry and Chelsea. I owe it all to your e-motivator Richard. I’ve used it for an hour EVERY single morning since I first stumbled on it. Even though I now know all the pictures off by heart, it seems to know exactly WHICH ONES to flash up at JUST THE RIGHT TIME. I always feel refreshed and ready to kick-ass after every session.
I don’t know what else to say but THANKYOU!
Andy
Comment by Brother Andrew — Thursday June 21st, 2007 @ 00:20
Erm …… why is it only motivation for boys …… what about us WOMEN ????????
Comment by Jayne — Friday June 22nd, 2007 @ 15:03
I believe the e-motivator transcends gender…per example, there’s a few buff guys on there for you ladies.
Comment by Rich — Friday June 22nd, 2007 @ 16:27
Just for the record the e-motivator actually turned on me for a couple of days. It started saying things like “screw you loser”, “go kill yourself”. Then it broke the layout of the page so I had to take it off.
In effect it gained power over me.
Luckily i’ve managed to tame the beast and it’s back again to provide motivation for all.
Comment by Richard Stelmach — Saturday June 23rd, 2007 @ 19:08